When You’re the Pastor’s Wife…

“Shelter Friends” was my very first post…written several years ago.

The truth is that, while so much of my words still ring true to me now, much has changed…even since then.  And now, I would add something else to this, if I were to write this today…

And that would be to say that having friends in the church where you serve – especially as the Senior Pastor’s wife – is even more challenging than I ever imagined.

But it’s also easier than I imagined back then…

The reason is that I believe my focus was on the wrong thing.  Today, I have learned to focus more on being a good friend to everyone than focusing on who is being a good friend to me.  I’ve learned that more than having “best friends” among my congregation, I should just be the best friend that I can be to…everyone.  And then when people do whatever they will do for whatever reason, I’m at peace because that’s just not my focus.

My value is not determined by how many people I can feel are acting like a “best friend” would act, but instead it is determined by how well I reflect the true nature of my true best friend:  Jesus.

So, here’s where I was…there’s a lesson in every moment of life:

“Shelter Friends“

“My parents just returned from Switzerland (after a mission trip to India). I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland, and looking at their photos reminded me of why–the sheer beauty of the mountains, the land, the water… all of it. I was especially drawn to the snow-covered mountains–the colder looking, the better.

This is kind of ironic because anyone who knows me knows I’m a Florida girl thru-and-thru. If it’s below 70 degrees, I’m pulling out the sweaters (Byron doesn’t mind this-he really likes me in sweaters). The truth is, in my imaginings of the swiss mountains there is always a quaint chalet nearby complete with a roaring fire, wool socks and hot chocolate (or Starbucks). I love my idea of snow-capped mountains because it’s comfortable and safe. I can see the snow outside, even play in it if I want to.

But when I get too cold I can run to my beautiful shelter…

Ministry is a lot like my dreams of Switzerland…

…breathtakingly beautiful from a distance or at least in a controlled environment (preferably a Swiss chalet), but when the freak-blizzard crops up and there is no shelter (or Starbucks!), it may not seem so beautiful.

Any ideas I may have had about doing ministry in a controlled, safe environment have been shattered lately. This may sound horribly traumatic, and there’s some of that, but mainly it’s a blessing.

Leadership can definitely seem like a cold mountain with no visible shelter, but it can also give you the gift of knowing who your true friends are.

How many people really know who will weather the blizzards of life with them (not just the ones who will visit the chalet and drink your hot chocolate)?  How many people can name their true “shelter” friends?  Byron and I can.

God has allowed this blessing thru suffering.

Tonight I had band practice at the church. Of course, Byron went because he loves to be a part of the worship ministry even though he can’t sing (although he says that when he’s alone in the car he sounds just like the Big Daddy Weave guy!).

So, I got to praise God surrounded by some of my best friends in the world — People who I know will go through the fire with me (I know this because they have), and as we sang “Came to the Rescue” I was reminded again of my blessings, even in the blizzard, even when my dreams of a Swiss chalet seem so far away from reality.

I was reminded that there are worse things in life than having a handful of “go to the wall” friends: having a zillion “friends” who disappear when the hot chocolate runs out…

I am blessed in my sorrow and loss. And Sunday, when we sing “Came to the Rescue”, I’ll smile to myself as I think: Byron and I may feel, at times, that we can count our true friends on one hand (couples counting as one, of course),

but at least we can count them and count on them.

To all of my true friends: Thanks for the shelter (and the Starbucks!).” – 2007

Reading this makes me thankful for God’s patience and mercy…and, certainly, for all the friends that I have in my life.

And it reminds me of a quote that goes something like this:

“I’m not what I’m gonna be, but thank God I’m not what I was!”

Here’s to learning and moving forward…ever pressing toward the mark!

Peace.

The Remains of the Day…

I’ve been singing in church or leading worship in some capacity for over 30 years now, and I’ve seen people come and go, styles change drastically and witnessed a lot of “talent” over the years.

Sometimes I have been amazed by people’s talent, sometimes I’ve been blessed by their heart…but rarely have I been impressed to witness both in the same place.  I’ve had the privilege to work with many talented artists…and the misfortune to work with many who were just…talented.

Yeah, there’s lots of “talent” out there.

…and there is always someone waiting in the wings to out-sing, out-perform…out-shine if that’s what you’re in it for.

(Of course, it takes very little to “shine” next to a 40-something, soon-to-be-“Grandma”, pastor’s wife, but I digress…)

I remember, about 10 years ago, being asked when I was going to realize I was too “old” to sing and finally get out of the way so that younger people could do it…

or more recently, hearing that “Anyone over 30 shouldn’t be leading worship”!  (Sorry, Chris Tomlin!)

Anyway, yeah, I’ve seen a lot.

This all came to mind recently when I caught an interview of “Mumford & Sons” while performing with Emmylou Harris.

I was raised in the country and have an affinity for blue-grass, so I’ve been listening to Emmylou for…forever.  And since we’ve already established the fact that I’m “old” (have been for years now), Emmylou is absolutely decrepit by that standard!

...of course, she has also been doing her thing for at least twice as long as the Mumford-boys have been alive.

You add to that the fact that these “boys” are on fire…at the top of their game and you get a recipe for what I’ve witnessed over and over: an arrogance that blinds an artist to the fact that music is a fluid thing – it is a fickle tide full of deep spots and shallow pools in which you can believe the press of the moment and forget that talent can take you where your heart can’t keep you –  blinding you to the reality that someone paved the way for you to be able to do what you do…

But, as I watched the lead singer speak of singing with this gray-haired woman who could no-doubt be his grandmother, I was amazed…

not by his talent, but by his heart.

He didn’t go on and on with a bunch of flattery for Emmylou Harris because she had made a name for herself in the music industry.  He just humbly stated how honored he was to sing with her – completely lacking arrogance or a need to remind the listeners that he was the one currently in the charts.

I don’t really know why it was so refreshing to me.  It actually brought tears to my eyes.

Then, early Sunday morning, really early for someone who could literally be the entire C3 band’s mother, I stood under the hot lights for a run-through of the morning’s “set”, and I looked around and was just as refreshed as when I heard the Mumford guy speak of Emmylou.

Justin, our hugely talented and world-traveled worship pastor, was leading a band that ranges in age from 20-something down to something-teen.  And I had the privilege of witnessing again a complete lack of pretense or arrogance.  There’s so much talent in this band…

…but there’s one thing bigger and greater.

and that “one thing” renewed my faith in the “fickle tide” of the music world.

of course, that “one thing” is their heart.

Justin leads, and they follow.  And in spite of their youth or their abilities, they seem untouched by the arrogance that is so pervasive in the “worship” world.

I’ve been doing this a long time, and working with “artists” for that many years can change a person…it can leave you jaded and scarred.

But not in this season of my life!

I am blessed  to be a part of a worship team that is both talented beyond measure…and humble enough to lead others to the Throne of God in worship.

...to point the way to Him.

Thanks Babe (that would be Byron – lest there be any confusion! 🙂 ) for having the insight to choose a worship leader with a true heart for worship and excellence!

Thanks to Justin and the band for your heart!

And, most of all, thanks to God that He has allowed this season of refreshment…just when I needed it most!

I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks after all! 🙂 

“He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Peace.

 

 

 

 

Happy Caffeine-Filled Wednesday!

Starbucks is taking over the world…

…but we’re too addicted to caffeine to notice!

Have a happy Wednesday…while you still can.

Peace.

Precariously Perched.

It’s Friday.

I’m at the church and my laptop won’t pick up the wireless signal, for some reason.  So I am tethered to the wall – I don’t know if I can live like this!!!!!

I miss my macbook.  It’s stormy outside, and I’m having to type on a PC.  It just doesn’t feel right.  It’s like the world is turned upside-down…well, maybe that’s an exaggeration.

I feel precariously perched on the edge of anxiety today.  I’m not sure why – I just woke up that way.

So, this probably needs to be a short blog, or I might say some crazy stuff…crazier than normal.  This probably means more poetry tonight.  I’m discovering this about myself:  A crazy day leads to a pensively poetic night…and a migraine (but that’s probably T.M.I.).

I think I just need more coffee, and maybe some cake.

If I could find a place where they have coffee, cake and wifi, I would be in hog-heaven.  Literally, because I really want cake.

I’ll blog more later when I come down off my perch…probably in iambic pentameter!