So, things just feel a little surreal right now…kind of like some kind of suspended animation.
As with anything medical like this, the worst part is the unknown…the waiting. I’ve been told that “they” don’t wait around with things like this – I guess that should be a comfort to me – that if they find anything “suspicious” tomorrow morning in ultrasound, I’ll no-doubt be immediately scheduled for surgery…
Or maybe I’ll just come home and have to wait another week or two for the verdict.
Either way it’s kind of like Wiley Coyote falling off a cliff…in slow motion.
It’s just so hard to plan how to respond when you’re just told to wait. I would rather get my mind right…fight…do something…anything.
But I guess part of the fight is the waiting…doing that graciously. I guess I’m just not very gracious…more like a spastic klutz…sigh.
In movies, women always deal with these things with such serenity…such gentle strength.
I think that’s what’s occupying my mind the most.
I don’t think I’ll be able to be all…zen.
I’m picturing more Shirley Maclaine in “Terms of Endearment”….
But, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see…
Maybe I should get in the Lotus position or something.
At least then I would have a whole other set of problems to deal with…namely the fact that I don’t think I could currently get into the Lotus position…
I guess this is why the Scriptures are full of the word “wait”….because we have to rely on His strength rather than our own. So, I’m sure this process will teach me a lot.
So, here’s to learning…
Here’s to being gracious when what you really are is a klutz.
Here’s to whispering prayers instead of just …“ohhmmm”.