Where’s my Stradivarius?
This Friday it will have been a year since I wrote my first blog.
Now, almost a year later, I’m feeling very…blogless. I’m beginning to wonder if this may have served its purpose.
I know there’s a season for everything, and maybe my season is coming to an end.
I don’t know. We’ll see…
It’s been such a comfort to me - such an outlet. I’ve developed friendships and learned more about the world around me….and more about myself. But, lately I’ve spent a lot of time trying to write, only to erase it or save it as a “draft” (which is where my posts really go to die…). Should it be so hard? I don’t know.
I do know there are worse problems to have…there are bigger life-issues to ponder.
But, for now, I think I’m just weary…
I don’t even know what I’m weary of - just a little weary. I have no explanation. It’s just where I am…the season I’m in now…
Maybe I’m just defensive…maybe insecure. Maybe it’s because it seems like it’s easy for me to spill my guts on a regular basis, but there’s never been a post that I haven’t second-guessed…not one. Maybe I wonder what it would be like to be “anonymous” or anything but a big, too-tall, too-blond, loud-mouthed “open book”. Maybe I’ll just decide to be shy, or retiring, or demure…or fragile. (I really am quite fragile - there I go again spilling my guts!…) Seriously, I should join some kind of support group!
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll smile all the time, never over-react, and speak in soft, feminine tones…Maybe I’ll become a petite, brunette, demure…I don’t know…violinist! Whatever…just the total opposite of the kind of pastor’s wife that gets mistaken for an attendee of a motorcycle convention…
Oh well, old habits die hard…it’s obvious that I’m not going to change my “wearing it all on my sleeve” ways any time soon.
So, there’s my thoughts for the day in a nutshell. I’ll just try to refrain from “bedazzling” said nutshell…
Who am I kidding? Everything looks better with sparkles!!
But, I digress…
Peace.
