Blonde Antithesis

i’m wiped out. it’s been a crazy day.

i woke at 5 “raring to go” - byron commented that he had rarely seen me in such a good mood so early in the morning - as we drove to get coffee, he kept looking at me like i had lobsters coming out of my ears as i chattered away…

i guess i was feeling hopeful. i was just looking forward to the day.

i shopped at a new grocery store. that’s always fun…and weird - things are just different enough to really throw me off (not that it takes much) - then, leaving the store, i turned the wrong way down a one-way street! thank you, guy who waved your arms until i realized what i had done and attempted to turn around in my mammoth suv…(he also looked at me like i had lobsters coming out of my ears, but i can’t really blame him).

it’s always interesting when i get distracted…and when i’m tired because i woke at 5 “raring to go”…

so, now i’m wiped out. and i don’t really have much to blog about…except for maybe the whole “one-way” thingy.

i love my new “steel gray” kitchen - who knew gray could make me smile so much? it was exactly what i needed to make me feel better as i put away my groceries…(after the whole “one way” thingy!)

maybe there are lobsters coming out of my ears…

peace.

Busy day - busy, busy…

I was thinking…I have to do that a lot since I have so many “issues” (when you’re a melancholy/sanguine, you tend to be fraught with issues).

Anyway, the boys and I were in the car and decided to listen to some music - since I was without my iPod and the CD player doesn’t work right in my truck, I turned on the radio. The first button on my programmed stations is the local Christian station - when it came on, my first instinct was to change it…quickly. Why? Well, let me try to explain.

Of course, I love Christian music. Worship is my passion…

I could try to blame my desire to change the station on the obvious: They rarely play anything new, and they run great songs into the ground!!! But, that wasn’t what caused my visceral reaction - my knee-jerk desire to find anything else to listen to.

You see, our town is full of listeners to this radio station - full of cars, trucks and vans with it’s bumper stickers on the back…they’re everywhere! And while, when I was more “idealistic”, I used to think how great it was that so many people were driving around worshipping God - I, now, watch for those bumper stickers…I have a knee-jerk, visceral reaction to them, too…

Where I used to see those stickers and think, “There’s someone who loves God like I do - there’s a kindred spirit…”, I now scan the parking lot of the grocery store for those stickers and if there are an abundance, I do my shopping somewhere else. I would rather pull into a biker-bar and be met by angry tattooed gangsters than to happen upon a gathering of the church-girl soccer moms with their minivans and bumper stickers at the Chick-Fil-A! I think I would get a warmer reception from the first crowd…

But, I left the radio on the Christian station. Because my boys were in the car, and they don’t have the same “issues” as I do (Thank God!). Because they were playing a new Casting Crown song that I really needed to hear (then an old Mercy Me song that I needed to hear more). Because God doesn’t deserve to be defined by how poorly He is reflected by people who say they follow Him…

Just because.

And because I can worship Him no matter what’s on the station or in my head - no matter if I’m on top or at the bottom - no matter if I’m loved…or loathed. At the biker bar or the fast-food chicken place, He’s still God.

The Casting Crowns song reminded me that God continues to forgive me over and over and over - and put my sin as far as the East is from the West - and I should do the same. And the Mercy Me song reminded me of a time when I needed to be told over and over and over to “Hold on - help is on the way. Hold on, He’s come to save the day. What I’ve learned in this life: one thing greater than my strife is His grasp…” And remembering that the only thing that brought me through that dark time was His grasp. So, my listening experience was also a learning experience. No one needs to define God to me, other than God.

The radio is still on that station. I’ll probably hit the change button soon - all it will take is three or four songs in a row that they were playing (in that same order) five years ago. But, I won’t change it today. Not for the reason that almost made me miss some encouragement this afternoon - not because church people do a whole lot of fronting as worshippers. Not because of my “issues”. Not today.

I really need to go find my iPod…

Peace.

Thanks, Alison, for wishing me a “Happy Wednesday” and reminding me what day it is…(it’s that kind of week - the “what day is it?” kind!)

So, there were three beautiful red cardinals playing in the bushes this morning. It didn’t seem to matter to them that it had stormed all night and was freezing as a result…

I don’t remember this kind of cold here in Florida as I was growing up. Maybe I was just too distracted by just being a kid!

I’m not too into fashion when it’s cold in the morning - taking the boys to school I had on Byron’s flannel pants and old t-shirt, a crazy hoodie that completely clashed with the plaid pants, and a multi-colored wool scarf…and of course, sunglasses…and gold sneakers! I looked a lot like I did when I was seven and my mom’s best friend said, “You know, you’re gonna have to stop letting Angie dress herself!”

This is a crazy busy week for us. There’s so much to do - I wish it would warm up! I just want to lie in bed when it’s cold…but, that’s not gonna happen…so, I just wish it would be springtime already!

Why am I such a lazy pack-rat? Why? Why?….

I spent half-an-hour today sorting through my “sock basket” - my brilliant creation: a basket where socks-with-no-matches go to die….why?

How come when I pick out a paint color, the “paint guy” always gives me the same lecture of how the paint will be more intense when it’s on the wall - the last guy said, “Are you sure about this?”…My new fave is “steel gray” in the kitchen - sounds institutional, but I find it warm and neutral…it feels safe and comforting. (The “paint guy” wasn’t so sure - oh well, I’m sure it won’t be the last time…)

I really do believe that Lego’s multiply in the night - but, of course, the boys can never find that one necessary red piece with four raised thingies - not three or six!!

Why do I feel the need to save every gift and shopping bag, and yet still have to buy new ones when I give someone a present? Why??

Why do I have an antique dressing table in my bedroom when I know I will forever and always do my makeup on my bed with it all spread out on the bedspread like a kid with Halloween candy? Why??

Why do I have so many clothes in my closet when I know I’m only going to wear the front 18 inches?

Tonight, Byron asked Ashley how her “Life Management” class is going - and what they teach. She said, “It’s about staying pure and…suicide, stuff like that.” (It was funny when she said it - if you’ve ever had a conversation with Ashley, you understand why).

Nate says he’s moving to Australia, and Ethan says he’s gonna live in space…(been there, done that!).

So, there’s an update into my little corner of the world…my, why-oh-why am I such a lazy pack rat who dresses like a crazy person - does nutty things - and has a stinkin’ funny family, little corner of the world.

Peace - and organization to us all…PLEASE!

…so today is Sandi’s birthday!!!!!

Sandi is one of the pastor’s wives of C3 (Travis - Student Pastor, etc., etc.,…) - and Sandi is on the very short list of my confidants and friends. If you don’t know her well, you might mistake her quietness for passivity…you might think she’d be easy to manipulate…

…think again! My friend Sandi is tough and strong - she’s a great encouragement to me with her quiet resolve. She isn’t the one to do all the talking (she leaves that to me), but she listens…and she supports…and she stands!

God has blessed me with a few “aloe friends”, and I’m so glad He included Sandi among them.

Love you, girl! I’m so glad you were born!

Peace.